Month: September 2013

Like many things I blog about, this topic has been on my mind not because I’m so good at it, but because I’m quite the opposite. In my September favorites I linked up to an article about seven purposes for the home. I found the article so convicting that I decided to spend some prolonged time meditating on each purpose, the first being “the home as a place of rest.” I asked myself how I could make our home more restful. Here are some thoughts from someone who still has a long way to go.

1. Make rest and refreshment a personal priority. Nobody wants an anemic for a blood donor. Sure, I could wake up running and not pause for breath until bedtime, but I’d probably look more like Medusa than Martha Stewart. And honestly, the first to suffer would be my family. So how do I make time for rest? I’ve found 3 times in the day that I can use for different forms of personal rest. The first is before the kids wake up (normally I’m unconscious during this time, but I’m working on it). The second is in the afternoon when the baby naps, and the third is after the kids go to bed. Look at your schedule. Where could you allot some time for personal rest?

2. Recognize that there’s a hierarchy to rest. Not all restful activities are created equal. Watching thirteen movies in a row may be restful, but not rejuvenating or nourishing. If we want lasting rest, the Bible says it only comes in a Person (Matt. 11:29). I don’t think that means there’s no room for personal hobbies, it just means those forms of rest shouldn’t trump the most important form. Ideally, I’d like to spend time with the Lord first thing in the morning, have an hour in the afternoon to blog or read, and spend time with Clint in the evening. How are you using your free time? Is it providing lasting rest?

3. Enforce a consistent bedtime for the kids. From the moment our kids exited the womb, we started putting them to bed at 7pm. Of course it took time to get them used to the routine, and it’s always necessary to deviate now and then, but on a typical day at 7pm it’s Daddy & Mommy time. Good night, kiddos, we’ll see you in the morning! It’s healthy for their little bodies, my sanity, and our marriage. If your kids don’t have a consistent bedtime, what sort of nightly routine could you create to help them develop one?

4. Work to maintain an efficient home. Isn’t it ironic that we have to work hard in order to rest well? But if the house is a wreck with no clean clothes and no food for dinner, how restful will it really feel? I’m finding that the more I invest into the home, the more my family enjoys being in it. But there’s a fine balance! As I’m doing my best to manage the home diligently, I must remember to…

5. Love the people in the home more than the tasks of the home. Of all the items on my list, this is the hardest for me. Isn’t that a sad confession? It is to me, too. And yet the #1 reason our home isn’t more restful is because I can be a drill sergeant about maintaining it. Slowly, I’m beginning to realize that this is idolatry–it’s loving “order” more than God’s mandate to be kind and gracious with my family. Is your approach to maintaining the home balanced? Do you need to become more diligent, or more gracious?

6. Have a daily “down time” for the kids. Once my pre-schooler outgrew nap time she started having an afternoon “quiet time.” She picks a few sets of boxed toys out of the closet and plays in her room for 1-2 hours. There are so many benefits to this–Aubrey learns to play independently and be imaginative, Heidi gets a quiet nap time, and I have an afternoon break. Depending on the ages of your kids, how could you establish a designated “down time” for them every day?

7. Find opportunities to bless your husband with alone time. I know my husband often feels guilty taking any time to himself. Because he works all day, he feels like every other moment should be spent with the kids. But if he’s going to serve and lead our family well, he needs time to rest and rejuvenate. What does your husband find restful? How can you give him some down-time this week?

8. Be at peace with those within the home. Nothing transforms a restful home into a war zone faster than discord. Colossians 3:12-17 urges believers to bear with one another, to forgive one another, to allow the peace of Christ to rule in our hearts, and to let the Word of God dwell so richly within us that we admonish one another in wisdom and gratitude. Let me ask you two last questions that I’m also asking myself: Am I at peace with every member of my household? If not, what steps can I take today, to restore the peace?

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The first time I saw these five words on the cover of a book they looked as tantalizing as a cream-filled doughnut.  If there’s one idol I’ve battled for years, it’s the idol of wanting a perfectly tidy home.  For some reason my mom has always had this innate Mary Poppins-like ability to create order out of chaos.  As a result I grew up in a beautifully organized home that ran like a well-oiled machine.  And then I got married, moved into my own little house, and made two startling realizations: Keeping an entire house clean is crazy hard, and I have no idea how my mother did it.  Suffice to say it didn’t get any easier when I added two children and 85,000 articles of doll clothing.  Plus accessories.

Over the years I’ve felt all sorts of things when it comes to housekeeping—guilt, frustration, and at times the ungodly desire to morph into a barking drill-sergeant.  Which is why I was so taken aback to read this statement in Clark’s book:  “The startling truth is that cleaning really shouldn’t have any emotional component at all.  It’s not an emotional subject.  It’s just a necessary set of tasks.  If the thought of cleaning house evokes any [strong] emotion…it’s time to unpack that baggage and see what’s in there.  It’s making housekeeping, which is just a necessary part of life, much more difficult than it needs to be.”

Right off the bat this helped me make it through the rest of Clark’s book, because let me just warn you, the woman is detailed.   But if you can let go of the emotional component, you’re free to apply the principles you like and not feel guilty for ignoring the ones that are beyond your stamina.  That being said, here are my 3 favorite principles from her book (re-phrased in my own words):

1. Don’t just tidy, figure out what’s causing the mess and problem-solve.  To do this, you have to analyze the way mess accumulates in your particular home.  For instance, there’s always a pile of books on the end table in our den, usually dirty socks on the floor, and a huge {amazingly comfortable} blue chair that’s crusted over with sticky handprints.  Normally I ignore the books, take the socks to the laundry room, and wash the blue slip cover every few weeks.  After thinking like a problem-solver, I designated a basket for the books we’re currently reading, stowed a hamper discreetly in the den, and made a new rule—no one under twenty-five gets to eat in the blue chair!  By the time I problem-solved my way through the whole house, the mess had begun to reduce itself rapidly.

2. Get rid of as MUCH as possible.  Clark taught me to view every single object in my house as owning a piece of my time.  Furniture, paper clips, Barbie shoes, that monogrammed bridesmaid gift in the attic—everything. The question you have to ask is: Is this object worth the time it takes to clean it, dust it, straighten it, pick it up, pack and move it?  The simple truth is, the less you have the easier it is to maintain order.

3. Create a “launching pad” and eliminate “rabbit trails.”  Two of the most common ways mess accumulates is in the entryway of your home and in the pursuit of what Clark calls “rabbit trails.”  A rabbit trail is any activity you frequently embark upon that requires supplies from around the house.  For instance, I store wrapping paper in the upstairs guest bedroom closet, simply because there’s room for it there.  But of course, the tape and scissors are downstairs in the study, and I actually wrap gifts on the dining room table.  Once I’ve gathered all the supplies and wrapped my gifts, what’s the likelihood that I will put them all back where they belong before next Christmas?  Moderate to low.  Clark’s solution is to set up “stations” wherever the task is accomplished.  In my case, there should be a large container with all the supplies necessary to wrap presents stored out of sight somewhere in the dining room.

To help out your entryway, Clark suggests a “launching pad”–a cabinet, bookcase, closet, or shelving unit somewhere near the main entryway that holds all the items you enter and exit with on a regular basis (wallet, purse, sunglasses…etc.)  If your kids are school-aged, they can each have their own bin in the launching pad to hold things like backpacks and library books.  This is a fast way to stop the clutter as it comes in the door, and to keep from losing important items.

All in all, I loved the improvements Clark’s book brought to our home.  If you have the time and energy, I’d recommend buying it and giving her system a shot.  Take it with a BIG grain of salt, use what you like, ignore what you don’t, and thank God for the gift of a home—messy, clean, calm, and crazy.

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