Motherhood is one of the hardest, most challenging callings I have ever experienced. I was born overseas, have lived in four countries, speak two languages fluently, one fairly well and I majored in Arabic in college. I have had my series of challenges and transitions but motherhood takes the whole cake, plate and all!
And some of motherhood’s challenges hit deeper than others. One happened very recently. I have some very treasured items in my house and they are as far away from toddler hands as possible. However, we recently moved across country and one of my treasures wasn’t up high yet. My husband and I were sitting right next to it, working on it when little fingers reached in between us and snapped off a vital part. My reaction was instant. I screamed over and over again,“He broke it! He broke it!” while I sobbed. My husband grabbed our son, who was also screaming now, and then grabbed me and just held us both. I have never been so hysterical in my life. My treasure. Broken. I was devastated.
However, in the midst of my frenzy, a thought kept coming to my mind. “Comfort your baby. Show him that no matter what he has done, you still love him. Comfort your baby.” I wanted nothing to do with my son in those moments. He had broken something so special. But I had to put myself aside and take care of my baby. So, still sobbing, I took my baby from my husband, went into his room and sat in the rocking chair. We calmed down together with my husband’s arms around us. I kept telling my son, “Mama loves you. It’s okay. It’s okay. Mama loves you.” Then, my husband took him and told him “No matter what you do, we will always love you. No matter what.” Honestly, I cried off and on for an hour after my treasure was broken. But I made sure that I took care of my son, gave him lunch, cuddled with him, played with him, read to him and put him down for his nap. However, my heart was still broken over my treasure.
As I was rocking him before his nap, I started thinking about how God felt when humanity broke His Treasure, His Precious and only Son. And how He feels when we keep on breaking His Heart, by rejecting His Son. It made me think about how amazing and awesome His Grace is. No matter what I do, He loves me. No matter what! I break His Treasures and He still welcomes me with open arms, forgives me and loves me as I am, even though He is brokenhearted. I have to do that with my son and it is the hardest calling I have ever had. And my son does not take it easy on me either, as I learn this lesson. But, “by Grace, I have been saved through faith. And this is not my own doing, it is the gift of God, not a result of work, so that I can’t boast. For I am His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that I should walk in them” (Ephesians 2:8-10, paraphrase my own). Motherhood is the way that God is choosing to teach me how awesome, all encompassing His Grace really is and I am so grateful to my Gracious, Loving Father for extending me grace.
I’m happy to welcome back my sister-in-law and guest blogger, Joy Kauffman! A former missionary kid, Joy grew up in Swaziland and Fontainebleau, France. She worked as a teacher, preschool director, and programs coordinator for an adoption agency, before becoming a stay at home mom. She and her husband, John live in Florida with their son.
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