Once upon a time, I was desperate. I was walking (alone, it felt) through an intensely dark season, the kind that makes you question everything. And despite my best efforts, I was completely lost. Terrified, angry, and exhausted.
So I started to write.
If nothing else, I needed to find my voice again. I needed a way to make sense of the senseless. A little steam vent to release some of the pressure inside the pot before the whole thing blew up.
I called the blog “Loving My Lot.” Because I didn’t. But I wanted to. I wanted to love the life God had given me. To treasure the “lot” He had destined for me long before time—even when that “lot” included suffering and struggle. At the time I thought the darkness would never end. I used to beg God, “Just tell me how long! I can make it, if you just tell me how long!” But I realize now, He never wanted me to “make it” by myself. He didn’t want me to gather up my resources and plow on through. He wanted to carry me. And arrogant as I was, the only way to carry me was to break my legs first.
This blog is God carrying me. It’s the story of my journey in His arms.
Once, during a particularly low point in the journey, my mom promised me that God is generous. She told me there would come a day when God would pour blessings on me so lavishly I would literally cry, “Enough God! You have blessed me enough!” I didn’t believe her. Until it happened.
It didn’t happen suddenly, like a light switch you flick on. It was gradual, more like those gymnasium lights that take twenty minutes to warm up. One day I looked around and realized they were blazing. Step by step, He had carried me out of the darkness. And moreover, He had made me strong—not in myself, but in my need for Him, which is really the best kind of strength. Recently, I caught myself journaling, “I have never been happier in my life,” and I thought of my mother’s promise. Even now, my eyes well up with tears, because my heart cries, “Enough God! I am staggering beneath the weight of Your generosity!”
I tell you this story because I have sensed for some time now that this part of my journey is over. This blog has served its purpose for me, and it will forever be special to me. But in this fresh season, I find myself aching to be more present. To enjoy every second right here. To pour into my family and friends and church with unhindered freedom.
I’ll still guest post on other sites from time to time, and I won’t delete this blog (she’s far too precious to me!) Who knows? One day I may resurrect Loving My Lot, or write another book. Or maybe not. In either case, I need you to know something before I sign off. In this whole journey, my greatest joy has been meeting fellow travelers, like you. You have taught me that I’m not alone, and that God is bigger than I could ever imagine. Thank you—for your comments and encouragement, for reading and sharing posts, and buying my book, and believing God could use me. You are part of His great grace in my life!
With much love and gratitude,
Jeanne
Loving My Lot 
I will miss your posts, you are an excellent writer and I have so enjoyed learning more about God and motherhood, and loving my own lot, through you. I get excited when one of your posts makes it’s way into my mailbox and I savour your words. Thank you for all your honesty, may God continue to bless you abundantly!
I have enjoyed your blog so much. Thank you for sharing this part of your journey with us! May the Lord bless you and your family in your future endeavors.
I will definitely miss reading your voice, but am excited for the new season God has for you! Thank you for everything Jeanne.
I have loved your blog. Thank you for the perspective and encouragement.
Jeanne, I’ve loved your blog, have shared many copies of your book with family and friends (page 159 always bookmarked) and will miss future postings…your honesty and vulnerability, your humor and warmth. While you are putting these things aside, at least for a season, to live out what it means to love your lot, may the Lord give you joy and courage to live in the present as you pour into your precious family and take hold of the opportunities He opens up for you in the days ahead. May His abundance continue to shower on you!
Dear Jeanne, I bought your book. I’ve shared your posts! I’ve been married over 30 years
and I learn every time I right from you! My favorite was about moms competing with each
other (thinking that we should be best-dressed, most athletic, most Martha Stewart).
Thank you for sharing God’s gift with us! Beverly Rossio
Thank you, thank you, thank you for writing your book so I can catch up on all the posts I missed before a friend shared your blog with me. God has used you to encourage me to love the Lord and my family more to His glory. May He continue to be glorified and honored as you continue to pour out your life for you family. Blessings, Heather
Thank you, thank you, thank you for writing your book so I can catch up on all the posts I missed before a friend shared your blog with me. God has used you to encourage me to love the Lord and my family more to His glory. May He continue to be glorified and honored as you continue to pour out your life for you family. Blessings, Heather
I have enjoyed reading your blog and have experienced many of the same struggles you’ve written about (and I also have 3 little under age 4). I’ve often thought, “we would be good friends if we ever lived in the same town- this gal is a ‘sister from another mister'”!!:).
Thank you for your transparency and the encouragement you’ve offered as we seek to be moldable in this busy and often challenging season!:). Blessings to you and your family!
(PS- I realized a connection when Joy did a guest post for you- we attended church with them in Arlington before moving a year ago.:)
Thank you for this blog, for sharing so much of yourself and your journey. I wish you abundant blessings as your story continues!
Your words have always been a huge source of encouragement to me. So thank you!
It takes courage and maturity to know when to step aside from something we have begun. I appreciate your writing and that which is wise will endure even when you no longer add to it. Thankfully the book is a hard copy that can be read and re-read by those of us who have it. Best wishes to you for the next adventure of using your gifts for His glory and to serve your family, church family and any who need to know the Savior. We women do have seasons of life that bring changes and new challenges. And there are new joys also as seasons come and go. God bless you, Jeanne.
Wow! What a testimony! Praising with you!
I have enjoyed your blog very much. God bless you in the next chapter of your life.